Four major projects and two final exams. Hm...I'm not gonna lie, I cried after I finished my finals (and a little during my panic stage). I'm proud of myself...not because I think I have super cool finals, nor because I actually finished my finals in time...but because of how much I have grown as a person through this semester. To be quite honest, I have had the worse temper this semester. I am someone who breaks under stress and am really stubborn and work until I drop. Back in freshmen year of high school, I overworked myself so much that I was hospitalized and eventually missed a whole semester of school. It's something I don't talk about in public because I just...it just hurts when I think about it even today...and I try not to think about it, but this weekend I honestly felt like history was going to repeat itself. Growing up in an Asian family (not trying to be stereotypical but...) I was always taught with the "no play, go hard" rule and so that's what my personality has been shaped to. I take my work very seriously, and sometimes overly serious. And then I crash. Overwork and insomnia = Bad, bad. But during my panic stage, I came to terms with myself. Life is going to keep throwing rocks in your face, it's how you go about it that matters. Sometimes, it's not about the 100% and the A's. Life moves on. Once I recovered from my own stupidity, I felt like a new person. That following night, I was actually able to calm down and fall asleep. Then each day, I rested when I felt tired instead of working until I dropped. In the back of my mind, I knew I had to get my work done, but for the first time I was willing to accept failure (not the letter grade). I was willing to fall to get back up to be a stronger person. And now, I do feel like a new and refreshed person. :)
Thank you mom and dad for coping with my poor attitude this week and the nineteen years that passed. Thank you all my friends that gave me encouragements and told me to never give up. Thanks Garrett for dying and staying up with me and offering such awesome advice...especially since Miss Leticia decided to go MIA all weekend. And thank you God for loving me unconditionally and listening to my prayers.
I know this sounds like a depressing post but it really isn't. I am happier than I have ever been for a while, it feels like I unlocked a door in life and I'm ready to move on! And on another brighter note, I totally lost a few pounds this weekend.
Happy Holidays Everyone :D!! So sleeeeepy ZzZZzZzz
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